(Dinner party at a hoity toity home in an upper crust neighborhood... probably Carmel, Indiana.)
Chip: ... Well... no one goes to Cabo anymore. It's completely overrun with college kids and middle class divorcees maxing out their Mastercards.
Buffy: Oh, Chip! Too too funny!
Chip: I know... right?
Gavin: If I ever divorced Bunny... I'm pretty sure she would sell all of our things and move aboard a cruise ship to live the rest of her life!
Bunny: You know me too well, Gavin!
Me: Hello! Great party! Thank you for inviting us!
Chip: I'm afraid we haven't met... I'm Chip and this my wife Buffy!
Me: Yes! I met Buffy at a fundraiser last Christmas...
Buffy: Really? Which one? Toys for Extraordinary Orphans? Mothers Against Impaired Holiday Imbibers? Bell Ringers for Berlitz?
Chip: Buffy is always so active with her committees.
Buffy: They are like a job! Like a REAL job, I must tell you! And I worked for two whole years after college. I know!
Gavin: Hello! I'm Dr. Gavin Norstrumeier.. ear nose and throat!
Me: A pleasure!
Gavin: And my wife, Bunny! Her real name is Magdeline, but we all find that to be too Holy Landish so we all call her Bunny!
Bunny: Yep! Bunny!
Others: Bunny!
Bunny: Yep... Bunny... like a cute... little Bunny!
Me: What do you do Bunny?
Bunny: Do? Oh... like work! I mostly volunteer. Functions for Vegans.. animal rights... some PETA events... humane society... animal control... rescue and adoptions. I stay busy most of my free time. Taking care of Gavin is a full time job!
Chip: What do you do, Old Man?
Me: I am a writer!
Others: Oh... a writer... yes.. a writer... so a writer?
Buffy: I read a lot! Danielle Steele... and whatever Oprah recommends.
Me: That's great!
Bunny: Are you with someone or did you sneak in here alone?
Me: Me? No! I am with my wife!
Chip: Your wife? Great! Where is she?
Me: She's sitting on the sofa. Texting the babysitter.
Bunny: Kids, too! Fabulous. You must be doing well... as a writer!
Others: (Getting good look at Wife) She is very pretty. What does she do all day?
You know... while you... write!
Me: Oh she stays busy... with NASA!
Gavin: Excuse me... did you say...
Me: Yes! NASA! She's an astronaut! She has been on the International Space Station 3... no, I'm wrong... 4 times! She is an astro-engineer. Doctorate from Purdue... and M.I.T. She helped design a lot of the new living and sleeping quarters on the space station... and for the new Orion space capsule being unveiled soon. But as you know.. it's all in those patents. Money.. money... money! I'm just kidding... well ... not really. I just adore my little American Hero! Honey...
Astronaut Wife: (Joining the dumbfounded group) Hello, Sweetheart! Making new friends?
Me: Sure... why not? Everyone ... this is the Colonel. And Colonel this is... I guess... everyone.
Astronaut Wife: Wonderful party. We'd really love to stay longer, but we have a little emergency to deal with at home.
Me: The babysitter?
Astronaut Wife: No! Not at all. Well... to make this simple...there is a component the Russians brought aboard the ISS for use in their sleeping quarters.. and it did not fit right.. so I have to walk them through repairs while on a video link up at 0500 ...tomorrow morning.
Me: Let's get you home and into bed... Hey! Great party! Let's do this again... sometime... soon... I guess! (Leaves with Astronaut Wife)
Buffy: Well.. of all the nerve... showing off like that!
Bunny: I say!
Chip: People can be so stuck up!
Gavin: Who cares what some people do for a living? I mean... you don't have to belittle those of us who make a difference.
Chip: Here! Here!
Gavin: Oh.. BTW... your kid's tonsil bill is overdue!
Chip: Not a good time, Gav... Old Man!
Buffy: Quick... to the door... what kind of car are they driving?
Finis
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